blow

it's windy here.

last night three things blew out of the protected area on my porch and went off to try to start new lives on their own: a recycling bin, an expedition sled, and a freaking chest cooler.

i put on boots and went off in pursuit.

they'd had some hours of head start, and there were a couple of inches of ice pellets on the ground, so no tracks to follow.

i figured to go in roughly the direction of the wind until i came to the border of the woods, where surely they would have gotten snagged and come to a stop.

only the wind is strong and variable.

and by strong, let's say that i found myself on top of a glazed pavement on a slight uphill and the wind blew me UP it like some weird uncomfortable people moving sidewalk.

eventually i came across some recyclables that looked like they might have come from my house and i looked off in that direction to where i eventually found my recycling bin on the side of a steep icy hill and beyond that, my sled.

i am not kidding you when i say i had to go on all fours, not because of the terrain, but because the wind was so extreme.

and that was before i had a sled and a recycling bin in my hands.

i was in view of my house and legit feared i was in danger.

it was slow going. four or five steps into the wind, stop, sit, rest. i thought i'd pass out.

eventually i got back to the house.

the whole trip (not more than a few hundred feet) took an hour.

i am ready for my nap.