the thing about bruises is that we get them. we race mountain bikes. we get used to them, but they're super fun to show off.
the problem for me is that i have that ultra-white blue-tinged pearlescent skin and there is NO chance i can use a flash to photograph it. so it's natural light for me, and that means taking the picture in my front room, at the window, facing the street.
that's where the light is.
and on top of that all of you who have ever tried to get a really good picture of your own butt know this: it's on the back side of you and you can't easily get the shot in focus because the camera controls are JUST out of easy reach and nevermind being able to look at the little monitor, even if you have one of those cameras that has one on both sides.
so there i am, gyrating about, trying to aim and shoot, catch the light, and GET THE BRUISE IN FOCUS, pants around my ankles, really hoping the neighbors don't decide that THIS would be an excellent time to come stand in the driveway and look around.
for the record, i now have dozens of pictures of my own butt, in various states of frame and focus and i STILL had to crop one in order to show enough butt that you get to see the size of the bruise, but not so much that you''ll need therapy.
one of my friends said it would have been funny to see that whole process. another friend ventured the opinion that anyone present would have been handed the camera and told "here. take a picture of my butt for me", so the comic value would have been lost.
in the end i think we decided that a smart person present to have seen that spectacle would have made a video and posted it on youtube.