Tuesday, March 08, 2011

just TRY to be decent.

so today i had a doctor's appointment. well, first i had lunch with my mom, at the waterman grill. the guy (glenn) who makes the sandwiches at the grill (basically just a university snack bar) is a bona-fide chef and it doesn't matter what today's special is; it's fabulous. there's always something new and it's always good.

today, for me, that was a fish taco. fresh-fried tilapia in flour tortillas with just the right blend of "stuff".


THEN i went to my appointment.

and people are idiots.

oh, no, there's snow on the ground! we no longer know how to park our cars! we don't have TIME to pull out once and straighten up so we're not taking up two whole parking places. we're too important to take the trouble to park properly, and hey, we're already parked, so we don't care that only a third of the people who park in this lot are going to be able to park here.

and then i was at the grocery store, and i notice lately that people are idiots there, too. you know that little blue-painted space left next to the handicapped space? that's not a cart return, hatwipe! that's there so people can get their chairs out of their vans. and if you drop your cart in the handicap spot, they can't put the van there, either.

could you just walk the cart the extra twenty feet to a cart return?

i mean, often the actual handicapped people leave carts there and store staff comes and picks them up. if you need a wheelchair and a van spot, i don't expect you to return your shopping cart. but you able-bodied hatwipes who can't take the trouble?

i'm sorry, but a moral handicap does not entitle you to make parking inaccessible.

so when i go to the store, i clean a cart or two out of there. and today as i was coming by this broad comes and dumps her cart there bold as brass. so what did i do? i gave her a bad look, that's what i did. and i kept giving her that bad look as i collected her cart and two others and returned them to the store.

she saw me do it, but her face did not betray what she might have been thinking. she was still watching when i got into my car and drove off.

hey, lady! that is not a cart return. you are a hatwipe. i hope you are embarrassed to have other people clean up after you. probably not, but i can hope.


Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Sadly it really has nothing to do with the snow. Hatwipes are everywhere.
Ms. Misanthropic.

mybabyjohn said...

How about those charming folks who see you signalling to turn into a parking space and just swoop in there right in front of you. What about those people who empty out their car garbage onto the pavement in the parking lot instead of walking two feet to a garbage container. We should work up a bumper sticker we can carry with us to slap on these peoples cars as we run across them.

flask said...

now that you mention it..


mybabyjohn said...

Well for goodnes sake!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...


these are funny and appropriate for this topic.

V.K. said...

hatwipe. my new favorite word. Maybe if I remember to use that (even to myself) when I am in the midst of feeling outraged, I can regain a sense of humor. But only if I am outraged about things that do not include nuclear meltdowns.

JLR said...

I do this! I do this, too! I sometimes say, as I'm taking someone's cart from where she just dumped it, "Oh, I'll just get this for you, shall I?" I don't think they ever get that I'm being sarcastic.

I hate people like that. I really do. Also people who leave their fast food trash in parking lots.


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