adventures in grocery shopping

i have an addiction to bolthouse farms mocha cappucino beverage.

i am not proud of this for a lot of reasons, but also my day sucks if i don't drink half a 32 -ounce bottle to start it every morning.

so every week i but 3 to 6 bottles, depending on sale price and how many i actually have on hand. lately the supply has been wonky so yesterday i decided to call ahead before i made a special trip into town just to buy this ONE THING.

hello, my name is (name) and i'm calling to see if you have bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino in the 32 oz. bottle.
what were you looking for?
bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino in the 32 ounce size.
hang on a moment.

i am put on hold, and another person answers the phone.

hello.
hi, i'm calling to see if you have the 32 oz. size of bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino.
what?
the 32 oz size of bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino.
oh, mocha coffeemate? i'm sure we have that.
no, bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino. in the 32 ounce bottle.
yeah, we have mocha.
bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino? in the 32 ounce bottle? in the produce section?
oh. this is grocery.

i am put on hold again.

this is (name), in produce.
hi, my name is (name) and i'm calling to ask if you have bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino in the 32 ounce size.
hold on and i'll go check.

...waiting...

i have three bottles. when you get here just knock on the door. (this is the door at the back of the produce department. it is understood that i have done this before.)


so i get in my car and drive twenty-some-odd minutes to the grocery store and i go knock on the door and the nice lady says brightly oh, you're here for the protein plus.

no, i'm here for mocha cappuccino.
oh, well last week somebody called for the protein plus.
i called about the mocha cappuccino.
let's go look.

we get there and there are no 32 ounce bottles of bolthouse farms mocha cappuccino, but there are a lot of 15 oz bottles.

this is a problem to me because the 15 ounce bottles are very much more expensive per ounce than the 32 ounce bottle. i say that this right here is why i called the store from home before driving twenty minutes over here for this one thing and she says she'll ask her manager if she can sell me two 15 ounce bottles for the same price as the 32 ounce bottle.

i tell her that i need that price to be the same as if i'm buying fifteen ounces at that price, or else i am buying 30 ounces for the price of 32, and the woman just looks confused.

she comes back some minutes later with the very good news that her manager has approved for me to buy two fifteen ounce bottles for the same price as the 32 ounce bottle and she has no idea why i don't want to pay the same price for 30 ounces as i would pay for 32. she does not understand why i think this is not a good deal, and she keeps repeating that i'm getting TWO.

and i keep saying yes, but the two together are still SMALLER than the one big one and this is why i called from home. because i wanted the 32 ounce bottle.

and she said you could order a case.

and i said i wanted them TODAY. that's why i called from home ahead of time and got in my car and drove twenty minutes to get them.

and she said you could order some and they would be here by sunday.


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