nervous history

i told you that i was going to explain why else i was nervous on my trip, and it's related to historical events.

i used to do a lot of camping in the adirondacks on DEC sites, mostly ones where you can car camp. if you know where to find them, they're convenient and cheap, and sometimes in stunningly beautiful locations.

i listen to podcasts while i am falling asleep. i like radiolab.

one night i was listening to a podcast and way too late into the podcast i realized that it was an episode i should not listen to.

one of the things people ask me about when discussing the many, many weeks i spend camping all alone is if i am afraid.

no. usually i am not.

i also do not watch horror movies, or read ghost stories, and i like to be in camp before it's dark. i like to feel safe. for the most part, i explained to some people who really wanted to dwell on the possibility of predators out there, nobody abducts you in the wilderness. i mean, what are the chances? you get abducted somewhere populated and TAKEN to the wilderness, right?

so then i was listening to the buried bodies case episode, which takes an in depth look at the complex legal issues surrounding some terrible crimes.

only some of the crimes happen on campsites in the adirondacks. they don't say where specifically, but if you know the sites well, you all of a sudden may realize exactly where they're talking about and realize that you have camped on those sites.

that's what happened to me.

the crimes, most of them, were committed in 1973 and the killer is long dead, but it's hard to feel as carefree when you're passing the place where a body was buried.

i can't say it's the primary reason, but i hadn't been back to the adirondacks to camp since before i heard the story and in order to get to hurricane mountain i was going to have to pass through nearby mineville and you can't unknow the story.

it's an interesting story, and it has far reach into american jurisprudence and is taught in nearly every legal ethics course but yeah, i was nervous about camping near there.

not because it's reasonable, but because of that emotional resonance.

but saturday when i arrived there was sunshine and clean smelling woods and camp had friendly people in it and i found i could still camp there, even with that darker story hanging out in my head.

because ingress. (blue team, everybody!) i met the challenge because we needed that portal. i got the adirondacks back, although i'll probably avoid that one site on route 8 forever.