this conversation actually happened.
me: i just found a thing on the front of my shirt and popped it into my mouth
It was nice and crunchy but tasted all wrong
MB: jesus fucking christ, flask
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP PUTTING RANDOM SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH AND EATING IT???????
me: i didn't eat it
I spit it out.
MB: that makes it better?
you put a dead spider in your mouth long enough to taste it and tell it was crunchy
me: THAT'S HOW I KNEW IT WAS A SPIDER!
MB: you could have looked at it
the 8 legs are kind of a giveaway
also, if you don't know what something is, DON'T PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH
me: I thought it was food.
Because what else would be on the front of my shirt???
MB: something that drops dead from the ceiling
me: It was right under my chin.
MB: can we talk about poop now?