closed letter made open.

hello. it was good to talk with you today. the place where we were made me think of a thing i wrote to you a long time ago maybe i can't write this to you, but it still applies.

there is enormous strength in what you say! 

i'm trying to express this enormous concept, but it is recursive, interlocked, alinear. one thing proceeds from another, except back to the basic root, which springs up and flowers so widely, riotously, unpredictably and yet in order.

do i make any sense?

you're one of those rare people who carries God's light and grace by way of faith and by way of the words you speak and life the life you lead. it does no good to have gifts without bringing them out into the world.

and you are also possessed of a warmth and light all your own; you are a sweet soul, kind and gentle, good and fierce.

sometimes you speak with conviction; sometimes you speak with Authority.

i love to look at the edges of you; the landscape where you keep your public personae, your sharp thinking, your businesslike competence, your easy confident appearance, your gracious way.

i love to see the small places, the tiny signs that a placid surface covers a much larger service the scope of which is known only to you and your Lord.

i love to stand sometimes at the doorway of great giant sacred spaces in you, where out of reverence i do not dare go in, and if invited, only a few tentative steps and that even with my eyes down.

i love to see the places in you where beauty and grace, things of joy, of balance, and temperance dance and recombine in your soul: the form of a rose window, the riot of leaves, minuet and bergamask, sonnet and saga, silver and stone.

and i love also the tender little places where you hope and cry and bleed and laugh, where you keep your courage and your doubt, your sorrows and your joys, your pleasures and your longings, your faith.

your heart.



so. i maybe can't say all of what i was going to say but instead i'll say "here is a recipe you maybe will like".

and that piece of work we were talking about maybe me doing? i'd really like to do it. it'd be fun for me and it gives me an excuse to write to you and the text of the message will be "hi. is this color ok?" but the meaning of it is "i am still here. i am still listening."

sometimes things get awkward between people. sometimes there is silence even between the best of friends.

so. if you're reading this, you know who you are. i will dare tell you that sometimes people read this and they comment anonymously. sometimes i know who they are, and sometimes not so much.

there will be days when you wish for me to know that you are still here, still listening. you can leave an anonymous comment to say no more than that and even if i know it is you, i will pretend for your comfort that i do not know who you are.



as for the rest of you, you odd collection of random readers and the occasional follower: sometimes that  friend from whom you are estranged misses you. sometimes small talk will have to do because for the time being it's all you can manage.

it doesn't matter why. accept the cup of coffee, even across silence.

still here. still listening.

vote count

mostly i'm just depressed about politics.

i;m depressed about a world in which the very wealthy and large corporations exploit everyone else and capitalize on both fear and nationalism, which is also based on fear.

i am depressed about news that politely ignores its sponsors.


when i hear reporting on politics, the first question i have is: who benefits from this? where is the money? why are people appearing to vote against their own interests? who really represents MY interests?

but i love sites like polifact.

i love them because not only will they acknowledge their bias, but they will make transparent their sources and their income sources and just give you the information and let you think for yourself.

a lot of the time even the reports of who's ahead in the polls gets spun so i don't know what to think, but i like this site, because they just collect the data for you and explain the methodolgy and even though i know the guy behind it has a liberal bias, he pretty much keeps to the facts because information is power, even when it's information you don't like.




in election years i just keep that page open in my browser and look at it every day, because even if things are going badly, i feel a littel better because i at least know what's going on.

falling out of position

tuesday afternoon i went up to ride around the preston pond loop.

you know, because i needed a bike ride and also it was sunny out and i thought it would be a really good opportunity to take some autumn in my neighborhood pictures for peg.

and i was having a good time up on the loop and riding pretty well and taking a few nice pictures and then for no apparent reason i took a little digger and went right over my handlebars.

the trail was narrow, but flat and sooth and i can;t for the life of me figure why i went over.

just a little slow roller over the bars. and it would have been nothing if i'd landed on the rock, because a slow roller onto a huge rock that sticks up a couple of feet off the ground often means you just push back with your hand.

of course i fell just ahead of the rock, where the ground was a couple of feet below the trail, so once i got done going over the bars that represented some serious loss of altitude in a face down position.

it wouldn't have worried me a bit except for the part about the handlebars of my bike having come to rest immediately below me, and pointing up into my gut.

so it would have been bad to fall all the way down onto THAT with my full body weight and i don't remember how exactly i managed it, but i found myself in a position rather like downward dog, only suspended over a bicycle with my hands a foot or two lower than my feet.

you know, like a nightmare yoga class.

and i thought of it in terms of yoga because once i caught myself in the fall i had a few very uncomfortable minutes trying to figure out how to return to my preferred upright position without an impalement, and i was running out of time in which i can reasonably support my weight uspside down.

and then i thought: this is very like downward dog.

so i thought about how i might change my position if i attempted to move in the direction of forward bend or maybe warrior, and somewhere in there muscle memory took over and i was able to shift my weight to something more comfortable.

the only thing i noticed that really hurt was my left had, which hit the brake lever hard enough to break the skin even through full gloves, but it was still a nice afternoon and a nice ride despite a few bumps.

the bruise on my belly where the handlebar hit didn't even show up until this morning, but it's no surprise given the tenderness of the underlying area.

anyway, here are some pretty pictures, and if you like, here they are pinned to a map.

and yes, i carry my camera in a hard case, so it's fine.

catch of the day

my computer obviously has some sort of virus.

i have no idea what yet. but the virus does not like google.

for three days my machine has refused to connect to any site that begins with google.anything, butit;s ok with anything.google, so mail is good but reader is not.

some genius person told me to reset my DNS, do i did and that fixed it.

but my machine keeps wanting to install a thing called photogallery and when it tries to install itself, i lose google.

in other news, i'm not doing so good.

shocking conclusion

if you were following the story of the rear shock on my new bike, you will be happy to know it has a conclusion.

my bike shop called to tell me that the manufacturer of the shock did indeed find a fault with the shock causing it to lose air when activated.

so i brought the bike into the shop and they slotted in a new shock, the 2013 model and an upgrade. it works great.

tanker truck

at yesterday's fire i took some video of the tanker trucks going back and forth from the fire to the millbrook.

it's kind of cool; they set up a giant kiddie pool type thing and fill it with water and then they just shuttle trucks back and forth filling it up so they can pump it out.

sirens

today in glitch it was zilleoween. maybe i will write to you about that later. maybe.

but with all the festivities i didn't want to go out for too long since i had a secret contest running so i rode my bike up from my house around the preston pond trails and i had only been home a few minutes when i heard the first of the sirens.

it's not super unusual to hear sirens up here, because every now and again someone needs an ambulance or there's an accident but this is a very small neighborhood in a pretty remote area, so a siren means one of my neighbors is having a bad day.

this was different, though. there were three ambulances and a fire truck in the first group coming past my house. and i heard more sirens coming on nashville road and notch road, and that about covers the three ways to get here.

it is either a structure fire or a bad, bad accident.

i looked out my window and saw a plume of smoke. okay, structure fire. i can tell where the house is that's going up, which narrows it down to only a few of my neighbors.

i want to know what's going on. i want to see the trucks.

but one more person on the scene will not do anything but be one person in the way.

after a while some of the trucks go away. ambulances depart the scene with lights off, which means no patients aboard. the plume of smoke stays steady and then decreases some. more trucks leave.

and then after a while, one more firetruck comes, but it's a tanker. i figure the fire is under control and they're just drowning it now so i figure it would be all right to go down and have a look so i get on my bike and go.

there are tons of firetrucks when i get there, and some of my neighbors standing around.

it was the garage of our road crew supervisor. a nearby neighbor called 911 and the first responders arrived at about twenty minutes in.

that's pretty amazing, since if you drive fast it takes fifteen minutes to get into town where the squads are.

the guys tell me that usually jericho-underhill fire is first on scene out here, but today the bolton squad was here first, along with richmond rescue. essex and williston also responded in short order, and i believe it was the williston trucks that left first because by the time i got there the williston trucks had gone.

nobody was home and nobody was hurt. the garage was a total loss, but the house was saved and none of the surrounding stuctures caught fire.

as an additional mercy, there was a brief rainshower during the fire that dampened the tall grass surrounding the garage so there was less worry of the fire spreading to the meadow or the forest.

i stood out with the neighbors and watched the tanker trucks go back and forth to the millbrook for water and we talked about neighbor stuff and fireman stuff and were generally pleased with the hard work and quick response of our local squads and our thanks and relief.

and while i was there i took some pictures of some nice shiny firetrucks.

views from another world

wrapping it up.

ok, so this is my last post (i think) about last week's trip to maine.

peg, i hope you're enjoying these because i took some of these pictures just for you.

for those of you who just came in or whose of you who don't read peg's blog (are there people who don't read peg's blog?)

but anyway, peg was saying last week that she was thinking about how much she wanted to go to maine in the fall and i was a tease and wrote in to say "hello. i'm on vacation in maine."

while i was teasing, though, i took some nice pictures for her.

"peg will really like this one", i would say, snapping a picture.

granted, i take pictures anyway, but peg had said the thing about wishing to see pretty maine views, so i was thinking about that some of the time.

...all of which is probably wayyyy more words than i need to say "here are the rest of my pictures from maine. i hope you like them."

you can find the gallery of them here. go look, why dontcha?

footbridge drawbridge

last week when we were in ogunquit, we happened to be on the perkins cove footbridge as a tall boat was coming up the inlet, which means that the drawbridge had to be raised and so there were a handful of us tourists wondering who was going to raise the bridge.

the buttons to operate it seemed simple enough, but there was a sign that said something along the lines of

ADULT BRIDGE OPERATORS ONLY

so we weren't sure if just any adult was authorized, or that they were being doubly clear no children.

the one thing we were sure of was that we should get off or the moving part of the bridge, so we did.

and then we stood around wondering out loud if we should press the buttons but then a guy crossing from the other side who seemed to know what he was doing came and took care of it with plenty of time to spare.

it turns out that it is customary for any adults who happen to be handy to press the button, and it is expected so that nobody from the boat has to climb out and do it themselves.

now we know.

here's my video of it.




it made me think of another day, far away, and on a lock, not a drawbridge, but there was a box and some buttons and it had to do with boats.

another one for peg

i'm still going through my pictures from maine last week and when i've got them sorted i'll post them for you.

meantime, here's another one for peg.

what you see here is a view of the maine coast from inside a candy shop: perkins cove over handmade chocolates.

you're welcome.

trail survey

after yesterday's storm i went out and rode all the woodside lowland trails. the woodside at catamount has the flat part i call the lowland and it has the bumpy part that goes UP THE HILL. it's a biggish hill. someday i'll probably show you a topo map. everything east of the powerlines goes up or down the hill.

but west of the powerlines it's mostly flat and the one hill is small and there are some technical bits but mostly it's easy rolling and it's my favorite part of the place.

and last night in the storm i heard some big thing come down, but not too close to me so i went out today to do a survey of those trails and found five blowdowns on the trails. from the placement of one, i'm pretty sure i heard it come down. and yeah, it was right where it would have been if it was that big noise i heard over my left shoulder and not close enough for it to hit me or even come close, but they'll need a chainsaw to clear it and a thing that big makes a good amount of noise even if you're not underneath it.

i have a picture, but i;m on the sofa now. in my pjs. i;m not going upstairs to load it onto my machine.

so just imagine: a tall tree falls in the woods. here by me, there's a long trunk. over there are some branches.

mr. toad's wild ride

well. THAT was interesting. tonight was the last tuesday night trail run of the catamount season. the weather here was hella rainy and hella windy all day and it was comparatively calm at the venue when we started, but by the time i got around the corner of sandman's the wind had REALLY picked up and i wasn't watching the trail. i was watching the treetops, which were blowing like daisies in a meadow. i didn't even bother to notice the twigs and bunches of leaves coming down like confetti, but the cracking and crashing all around me was alarming. i only SAW a few branches of four or five inches diameter come down near me, but i heard some things a great deal bigger come down off to the sides. and most of the time in woods there are "leaners"; trees that have already come down but are hung up on other trees and haven't fallen all the way yet. out on the backside of sandman's there were a lot of leaners hanging up in the branches that are now leaning on the ground but not fallen all the way. i was still on the wrong side of those guys when the wind picked up again and i ran. like. hell. i got out ok, but i was pretty jumpy and i don't think i've ever run that fast. in other news, i am only getting angrier and angrier. the Very Bad Thing is hanging heavy on my soul, and i do not care what damage gets done because it's time for a LOT of truth telling.

hermit crabs

night before last we were on prout's neck at the ferry beach in scarborough and it was just after low tide and there were all these little hermit crabs in the pools.

eating, fighting, doing whatever hermit crabs do.

no, not sweathogs.

stream of consciousness.

i was saddened by the death earlier this year of ron pallilo which doesn't really have anything to do with today's post except my mind went there.

yesterday afternoon barb and i wandered into old orchard beach for no particular reason and we were out wading on the sand bar and there was this guy out there digging clams.

now, my first memory of clams was wayyyyyyy back in my childhood when we went clamming off of fire island and took those little guys home and right into the steamer and they were one of the best things i'd ever tasted in  my little life.

barb never saw clams being dug, though, so i asked the guy if he wouldn't mind me taking some pictures and probably i wouldn't strictly need to ask permission to take pictures of his clams or holes, but when you see people doing interesting things and ask if you can take pictures, often they will show you the most interesting bits and tell you a story to boot.

and while we were talking, one of his quahogs tried to escape.

here's a short video.

important news you may not know.

transfer station decals are available at the police department.

outdoor burning is prohibited without a permit.

file of life refrigerator magnets are available from the fire chief.

there are vacancies on the planning board.

you need a permit to hold a yard sale.

harbormaster's phone number: 646.2136

rotary club meets noon on wednesdays.

only dial 911 in case of emergency.

all honorably discharged veterans are entitled to full military honors at burial.

rosh hashanah services are being held monday september 17th at jonathan's restaurant.

the baptist church will be reading "the story", selected passages from the bible arranged to read like a novel.

you may not ride your pony or horse in the ogunquit estuary area, not ever.

wifi is now available at the library.

all you can eat pancake breakfast $5 every saturday to benefit the senior center.

the parks and recreation department is seeking instructors and ideas for classes to teach to the community.

the town office is open nine to five monday to friday.

the chamber of commerce board of directors is seeking nominations for citizen of the year.

use and sale of consumer fireworks is prohibited within town limits.

if smoke from your wood fire is impeding your neighbor's ability to enjoy their own property, it is considered a "nuisance"

next month is dogtober.



i LOVE this channel. the default channel when you turn on the tv in our room is the community announcements channel, with pretty local scenery pictures and crappy elevator music.

we have been watching this channel nonstop in our room for the last half hour. we are mostly watching it because i am insisting that it is most excellent.

"i LOVE this channel", i say, every two minutes.

"what are you writing about?" my friend asks.

i read her the post so far. when it get to the part about "we have been watching this channel", she explodes laughing.

"WE???" she says, with some indignation.

view

today we went mountain biking here.

then there were some other things i may or may not tell you about later.

we had dinner at the cape neddick lobster pound, and my mom who is at home in vermont picked up the tab, which is a lovely thing.

mom likes that place. we all like the food and it's one of the few seafood places where a vegetarian can get a really nice meal, plus it's right on the water and a pretty view.

so here's a picture from our table. tide low, but rising.

this one's for you, peg.

long night exposure, no tripod.

not bad for handheld.

pretend it's gritty and arty.

this is nubble light.

mystery solved

today when i went out for my bike ride i could not figure out why my legs felt so sluggish.

i was trying to add up the reasons why there was not spark in my legs. allergy season? emotional stress?

maybe.

and then: ohhhhhhhh. i ran last night. and i ran hard. i think i have mentioned that i am not a fast runner even in a good year and i think i have mentioned that the run is only a 5k, but it was MY 5k, an ambitious pace on  a hard course and at 57:20 it was a personal best on that course.

tomorrow's a rest day.

wooo, dad!

recently i was on a boat.  yeah, i know other people maybe sing the song, but i only ever heard it once so it was pointless for me to make reference to it, especially since nobody else on the boat had heard it.

but the boat had a  horn, and my dad blew it.

impressive, yes?