halfway home

well, if you're following my story it's pretty evident even if i don't tell you that i'm some kind of manic-depressive. the official diagnosis is bipolar I, rapid cycling.

a lot of the time i'm just fine or i'm just crazy around the edges, and even when i'm very crazy i have a very good assortment of coping skills and friends and family who take care of me and even when things get really bad usually all that happens is i need to be babysat for a day and then i take things easy for a day or two and then i return to being fine.

over the past few weeks, there's been no returning to fine. every couple of years i run into a patch like that. it's kind of complicated by my allergies to pretty much every drug that works, so that's difficult.

our operating assumption this far is that sometimes even with good supervision and management the illness gets the best of me and it needs a good thumping back before the cycling breaks and i regain my tenuous hold on sanity.

for now i'm living in a sort of halfway house which is a story in and of itself, and we're going to try a medication that i was on a long time ago (another story i'll tell you later) but for now the increased supervision seems to be doing the trick. i'm letting it be someone else's problem for a few days.

right now i'm out visiting my home, which is kind of instructive in terms of how stable i'm still not, but information is power. i'll let you know how it goes.