Thursday, September 02, 2010

my grandfather always said

recently i was standing around after church and this guy (old enough to be my grandfather) comes up and says that my hair looks a lot better now that i've let it grow out. the implication, clearly, is that it is too butch as short as i like it.

my grandfather always used to tell me "if you don't do something with your hair, you'll never catch a man." why THIS guy who is not my grandfather feels he has a right to comment on how i should be wearing my hair is beyond me, but some people just think they have the right.

i will refer you (again) to this blog.

the thing about my grandfather saying it is that he was my grandfather and not just some old guy who thinks it's his business to instruct me, so i had to stand and be polite to my grandfather about it.

if you don't do something with your hair you'll never catch a man.

the funny thing is that when my grandfather was alive, i used to wear my hair long, all the way down to my butt, and back then it was red (yes, i was a natural redhead). for parties i used to like to roll it up and over my forehead and weave in baby's breath. very cute.

if you don't do something with your hair you'll never catch a man.

once a long time ago i ran a personal ad:

my grandfather always said if i didn't do something with my hair i'd never catch a man. call if you want to be the punch line to that joke.

i won an award with that one. really. the paper that ran it has a weekly contest for best personal ad, and i won that week. and i almost got a really scary moment.

i'm at an appointment and my case manager says "that was yours? i almost called for a date!" and there was this long terrified pause before we both said "wow. THAT would have been awkward."

i STILL haven't done anything acceptable with my hair. in october i'm getting it shaved off again. i might not catch a man that way, and it might not even be the cutest way for me to wear my hair, but it is the length at which i am comfortable wearing it, and since i spend more time wearing it than i spend looking at it, that's what's important to me.

plus when it's really short, it's fuzzy and kind of comforting to run my hand across it when i'm stressed.

and i save a lot of money on shampoo.


Anonymous said...

Funny, the way we treat our hair. Yours is short, I just braid mine back to get it out of the way!

BTW, can I put you on my blogroll?

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

oh I want to be you when I grow up!
I don't have that nerve. I am growing out my short hair cut and right now it is basically a brown helmet on my head. I hate it. So why am I doing this? Hell if I know. I thought it would be fun ot have long hair again. Maybe not.
I am not pretty enough to shave my head either.

you are my new hero.

flask said...

peggy: then you will really like karen.

Mad Jack said...

Flask, the man was paying you a compliment. Stop obsessing or you'll drive yourself around the bend.

The way men see things and comment on them is literal. Nothing is meant that isn't said. For instance, just for my own amusement I followed the link you provided and discovered a woman who is (maybe, maybe not) over-reacting to a comment made about her by another woman. The thing that matters is that a woman made the comment, so insinuation is a part of it.

Men don't insinuate. We don't hint. If I think a car looks good, I'll say so. Same with a motorcycle, a gun, a dog, boat, fishing rod, whatever. Same with your hair. If I liked what I saw, I'd say so. See?

flask said...

jack, if you knew this particular gentleman, you would know that what he was saying was exactly that my hair looked too butch before i let it grow out.

it actually happens that men DO sometimes speak in subtext and while i was frustrated with the thing he said, it would be inappropriate in a public forum for me to give details as to why he is concerned about the butchness of my hair.

i am capable of telling the difference between "your hair looks nice" and "your hair looks nice now that you don't look all scarily lesbian."

matter of fact, i have a close friend who says "your hair looks much better this way" when she means "i really hate your hair short. can you keep it longer please?" there is no subtext to her comment, really, other than she just likes it better longer.

i am capable of reading the difference between simple opinion based on appearance and opinion based on disapproval.

i'm not infallible in this, but i'm prety accurate and in this case i am confident enough (based on a large body of corroborating evidence) to bet the farm.

do you have a farm you're willing to give up? i could use one.


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