in real time (whatever that is), while i'm telling the story of my journey through the worst part of getting better, because really, the part where you're so busted up that you land in the hospital at your bottom is the part where you have no where to get but better;
in real time i'm out here in the "real" world sometimes. today is the second of january and last night i went dancing with the crashcos at the capital city grange. there's no better way,really, than bringing in the new year than going to the dance, the regular dance series, only it's new year's day or the night of and everybody's kind of pumped up and it's a bigger party than usual only not too much bigger but the energy is higher and it just feels good to dance.
it is, as crashco says, "organized chaos", but it is joyful and it is to me a triumph because without getting too far into it, i thought that after the Very Bad Thing i was never again going to be able to go back to the dance; in the grocery store i was a cripple, wincing and cringing every time some guy got too close to me, getting ready to shout at no one in particular and i could not imagine going through these figures again, not knowing who might tough or bump me and not knowing who might receive me or swing me or who i might encounter coming up or down the sets and it turns out it was not just fine; it was FABULOUS.
so there's absolutely nothing to do but ride the waves of the figures going up and down the hall and give myself up to the beautiful geometry of the dance and love the people, all of them, each a miracle of creation. later on in the long epic story of hospitals and therapy i'll tell you about my awesomeness manifesto and i'll look back or forward on this moment: people are awesome. have you looked around you? at how stunningly beautiful they are?
go out dancing. see you out there.