well, it's saturday.
i kind of have some things i'm working on, but don't have the energy to write about them. and if you're paying attention (close attention), you know that i am unlikely to post on sundays. sundays i go to church and sometimes hang out with friends or family. sometimes i cook a good meal, sometimes not. often i don't even ride my bike on a sunday, because on sundays i don't do anything that smacks of work.
i was going to maybe tell you that i'm taking up disc golf, or i was maybe going to tell you about a present i bought yesterday for crashco, or complain about my neighbors (who did not seem to me to be hung over enough this morning), or tell you about a past or present project or even give you an update on the projects for which i am behind, like august is half over and i haven't even clocked my july photos.
what i am pointedly NOT telling you is that it's that time of year again. i am NOT telling you that monday it will have been three years and although i thought i was going to feel better about it, i don't. what i am not telling you is that monday i'll go and put on my reds and go ride the fourcross course and then i'll meet up with cr and i'll talk and cry and maybe we'll go down to the richmond church to pray and maybe we'll go throw some rocks off a cliff and maybe we'll watch a silly movie and i'll cry some more or maybe i won't but next week i'll feel better and the week after that i'll go out to play and the week after that i'll go on a vacation and then there will be only two weeks left before i go out on the road and the next thing i know it will be christmas.
then it will be ski season and i'll build a snowfort and it will melt and then i'll hit the road again and before i know it four years will have passed and i'll be sitting here on a monday night telling you that i thought i'd feel better about it but i don't.
and then one year i will look up and realize that i do.