Tuesday, July 30, 2013

how's your clean logic?

i notice that more and more the toilet paper i buy is cheaper, flimsier, and more expensive.

but toilet paper commercials have now moved on to selling us expensive stuff we don't even need.


i mean seriously.

my asshole just doesn't need to be that clean all the time. sure, i wipe it off and once a day i give it a good cleaning while i'm in the shower, but nobody is going to inspect it, i'm not going to put it on the furniture, and i'm not preparing or serving food with it.

in fact, not only is it going to stay hidden away in my pants, but it's snugly nestled out of sight and away from accidental reach deep between my ass cheeks.

so no, i do not need expensive, space hogging, landfill-using manufactured merchandised stuff to improve my "care routine" and i do not need a greedy money-grubbing corporation to start selling me substandard toilet paper that doesn't work as well just to help shame me into buying more stuff that i can't afford, either for my budget, or for the budget of how much stuff we can cram into landfills.

if i'm doing a colonoscopy prep or have an injury or something i might need and use some kind of wet wipe but i really resent the trend in industry to oversell to an already strapped american population.

my asshole is clean enough, thank you. and cottonelle, you're just assholes.

all the way down.

1 comment:

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

OMG...this is a damn hoot. My hubby was barking up this tree the other day when this commercial was on. I just read it aloud to him . He was thrilled to know he was not alone!


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