signifying nothing

apparently tostitos commercials are full of more stupid than i was aware of.

you can google it yourself if you want to go down that hole.


but since my laptop died a couple of weeks ago i am watching more tv in my downstairs hours, and YOUTUBE, I MISS YOU!!!

*wipes away tears*

anyway. i'm seeing a lot of commercials, many of which are amazingly stupid. plus it's just barely september and i heard my first commercial of the season for some kind of cookies and in the background?

sleighbells.

'coz it's the holidays! you know, that season that goes from labor day (which is a second mother's day, right?) to valentine's day (which is that time when all men are expected to show either their desire for a woman or their commitment to a woman by buying an expensive piece of jewelry that will be the barometer of his worth to her).

uh, right. so. tostitos commercial.

they're hard selling their new line of "artisan recipe" chips, and the visual shows us fresh vegetables and whole grains in an open market while the friendly voiceover tells us that the chips are baked "with real ingredients".

you're kidding me, right? real ingredients.

let's just back up a little so we're all on the same page. do you need me to review the definition of "ingredient" for you?

no?

i'm going to tell you anyway that it simply means any ole thing you toss into a mixture.

and a "real ingredient", i guess, is anything you toss into a mixture that exists in the physical world and not your imagination.

for instance, "real ingredients" may include

animal feed
veterinary tranquilizers
fish slurry
sawdust filler
agricultural by-products
cyanide

those are all real things, and if you put them in a recipe, you can call them "real ingredients".

the tostitos commercial wishes you to think by its juxtaposition of images of real food and fresh vegetables with the words "real ingredients" that they mean the same thing.

they don't. "real ingredients" means "anything we toss in there that exists in the physical plane. too bad for you if you thought that meant fresh vegetables."

i am not eating tostitos anymore.

i do not mind eating crappy processed junk food sometimes. i even enjoy it. but i like honest crappy junk food.

i want a commercial that says "here. eat this stuff we made. it's crunchy and you will like it. nevermind what's in it. you don't need to know."

i don't like a friendly voiceover telling me "it's made with real ingredients"

well, no kidding.

so's rat poison.