Monday, September 01, 2014

how to eat pasta

first est other meals. normal ones. all day. then get really hungry and decide that you need to eat pasta. cook a whole box of it even though there's just one of you. then put some of it on a plate. put so much of it on the plate that it falls off. eat anything that falls, even if it falls between sofa cushions. eat so much that you will be uncomfortable. then when the plate is empty, grab handfuls of pasta from the strainer and scrape out the remaining sauce.

be sure to put the pasta away in the fridge as soon as possible so that you aren't tempted to eat any more. eat a handful of pasta on your way to get and container, and while you are putting the pasta away, stuf as much as you can in your mouth.

are you feeling bloated and uncomfortable yet?


then you should eat more pasta.keep eating pasta until you feel sick.

now you are done.

you may now resume normal activities.

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