saw bucks

a couple of campings ago i decided that the whole getting firewood thing would go better for me if i had a saw, so i decided to go buy a svensaw. i will tell you later how i like it.

this here story is about my experience purchasing it.

i'm not telling you what store it was because i have shopped with this store often and i have mostly gotten good service and sometimes even EXCELLENT service, so while i want to tell you of this one horrible terrible visit it is not at all representative of my experiences with this store.

i walked into the store and went directly to the back where they keep the locked case of knives and saws.

i waited a long time for anyone to notice me standing there. a LONG time. and then the salesperson told me she would be with me in a few minutes while she continued to wait attentively on a man who could not make up his mind between two pairs of socks. because of course he is the sort of man who demands attention while he stands and thinks about socks.

at last she comes up and asks me if she can help me.

"i need a svensaw"
"they're in this case."
"i know."

and she stood there for a moment before asking me if i wanted to see anything in the case.

i told her i had come to buy a svensaw. she asked me if i would like her to take it out of the case.

"yes, please."

and she went to ask another employee how to do that. then she came back to tell me she needed to go find the key. then she went back to ask the first employee where the key was. after some conferencing, she found a key and figured out how to open the case.

"would you like to see anything in particular?"
"i need to buy a svensaw."

she looked around in the bins in the drawer. she did not find a svensaw.

"i can't find any"
"there's one in the case."
"it's the display."
"can i buy it?"

she has to ask someone else about this. another employee comes over and they search the bins again for another svensaw. which isn't there.

but seriously? there's no point in keeping a thing that is out of stock on display. when a new shipment comes in, they can put one out on display so people can buy svensaws again.

they decide that i can, in fact, purchase the item i came to the store to buy.

and now the hard part begins.

because the saw in display is fully assembled, and one of the reasons you buy a svensaw is that it folds up, blade retracted, and is safe to pack. i ask if there are directions anywhere and if anyone can show me what it's supposed to look like folded up, because i've never seen one up close. the salespeople fiddle with it for a few moments before calling a third employee at the counter to ask if he know how to do this.

he says to bring it up.

so i bring the half-disassembled svensaw to him and explain the problem for him and after a few minutes he has it FULLY ASSEMBLED and hands it to me with a look that says "see, that wasn't so hard."

and i say "yes. i know how to put it together. it was together when we started. the part i asked about was how to fold it for packing, because i'm pretty sure the blade goes inside the bar somewhere for safety."

and he fiddles with it for a moment and says "i don't know how to do that." he says this kind of pouty-like, as if it is somehow my fault for asking the unreasonable and he sort of tosses the saw down on the counter as if we are now done with this conversation.

"um, can i buy it, please?"

i do not know why everyone in this store has a basic incomprehension of the simple underlying motive of my entire visit to the store. i want to buy a svensaw. i want it today, so i can use it tomorrow.

anyway, i was permitted to buy it.

sigh.