before thanksgiving, my mom asked us (the grown-up children) if we would mind if she did not make a turkey for thanksgiving since she was going to make one for christmas and that was totally good with us.
first, mom doesn't owe us a turkey dinner.
it's one of my favorite things about the whole year, but it's not owed me. and the only reason i was sad about it was that i wasn't getting to spend thanksgiving with MB, so camping. there are a lot of things you can ignore by camping.
but there may or may not be a turkey for christmas, because miss k is pretty far into her alzheimer's and it's hard for miss a and my parents want to go and be with them if miss a wants, because that's what you do for people you love, even if it means driving to albany and back christmas eve.
so it's not really a matter of whether i mind or not.
i will be very sad not to get the big loud festive turkey dinner that i love so much. very, very sad. but if you pile up my sadness at missing dinner next to the sadness of miss a and how difficult and lonely things can be with miss k whom she loves and who is mostly gone, it seems way more important for my folks to go be with the misses a and k.
we'll still be all together for christmas, and we will still have presents and games and laughing, and there will probably be guests at our table -some of whom are strangers- but it will not, probably, be mom's turkey.
it doesn't matter, really.
whatever we're having will be delicious.
so from our merry band of mostly atheists, happy midwinter gift giving light festival of your choice.
eat, laugh, be well.