Monday, June 19, 2017

the patriot bag

they started selling these things over at the shaw's in waterbury back in may:

it's the PATRIOT BAG! because if you are patriotic you NEED a big bag full of fireworks that aren't really even fireworks, because those aren't legal in vermont unless you have a license for a public display. what's in the PATRIOT BAG is a collection of annoying smoke bombs, black snakes, and party poppers.

that's right, those little snapping plastic bottles the sell for new year's eve parties.

but you NEED this. it's the PATRIOT BAG.

it's also a sack full of disappointment, because the kind of people who buy this have children who want FIREWORKS and instead they're going to get smoke bombs and probably there will be crying.

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