Tuesday, January 29, 2013


so. you guys will rememeber that i posted a thing in which i promised to tell you if anything fun happened on the front of the spamscammer.

i haven't heard from him, but yesterday i got an email from a different scammer and i fired off a response and gueswhatguesswhat?!!?!?

today he wrote me back!

so for your amusement and/or horror:

  I am a banker with Bank of China. I have an interesting business proposal for you that will be of immense benefit to both of us. Although this may be hard for you to believe, we stand to gain eleven million five hundred thousand united state dollars between us in a matter of days. Please grant me the benefit of doubt and hear me out. I need you to signify your interest by replying to this email.
 Most importantly, I will need you to promise to keep whatever you learn from me between us even if you decide not to go along with me. I will make more details available to you on receipt of a positive response from you. Do contact me only at my private email address: (redacted)
Warm regard.

and my response:

i am  a teapot in the bank do brasil. i am very interested in interesting things, especially things of immense benefit. it is not hard for me to believe at all that we stand to gain eleven million five hundred thousand united state dollars between us and i think you will wish to ausipicious know we also stand to gain many happy calendar dropping. i am replying to this email most gratefully to signify both interest and moistness.
i know you very importantly ask me not to share with anyone our secret but with such good fortune i share with my aged grandmother who very much enjoys wealthy and our stffordshire terrier also await available details positive response.
blistering observation.

and he sent me a reply today!!!

I have just emailed you with an introduction to the project I wrote about in my first email to you. The email is quite lengthy and your email system might easily mistake it as junk or spam email. So I need you to check your bulk, junk or spam email folders for the email. Its subject is “Thank you for your response to my email/Further information about the project!” and it’s from this very email account. Please read and understand it in its entirety. Then, be sure to reply with your full names and address as I requested. Cheers.

so i IMMEDIATELY wrote back:

yes! i have just immediately received your fingerpainting and there was no mistake!!! i was waiting up all day and all night hopping up and down on one foot to hear how our new partnership will proceed!!! i shall buy a new hat to wear for this special occasion which is more awesome than the time i was elected lord high topiary to his majesty carl.
i am so excited to have my tortoise read to me the content of your project and i will be sure to understand every word plus the secret transmission for which you have specially chosen me.
it is from this very email account but i am sending it through brain waves so the toaster will not overhear.
chicken fans! in the stands! dance! and sing tonight! stamp your feet and raise your hands! we.... gonna be all right!
goooooooo, chickens! goooooo, chickens!
chickens #1 champion going to win!!!!


GDad said...

This communication makes for most explicitly fascinate in my secret brain. Can I for interest reading your blog site never cease? Amaze!

flask said...

oh, you're a funny one. i nearly peed myself.


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