i'm not going to pretend here.
i love farting.
i'm a veteran of enough years with a poorly functioning digestive system to know that if you are constipated or your digestion is stopped, you are not farting properly.
but there's another thing: did you know that while you sleep your body normally shuts off your bowel motility? it's a nice feature of being a mammal. we tend not to poop while asleep. that's because of hormonal signals that shut you down during sleeping hours.
that's why piles of deer or moose poop often tell you where they slept.
when you wake up, your bowels resume their regular programming.
for me this is especially nice because i have a hard time telling when i wake up in the morning if i am really done sleeping or not.
yeah, when i wake up in the morning i often can't tell if i have slept enough to get up. i can't get back to sleep once i've gotten up and dressed, so it's best to know if i'm refreshed before i get out of bed.
this is where that farting thing comes in.
if my body has started farting, it is ready to be awake.