Sunday, July 06, 2014

stand up

a while ago i wrote of my ambition to learn to pee standing up.

i know you have been wondering how that's going.

i made some initial progress, but it's never really convenient to test those skills, because if you're wearing pants or even shoes mistakes will cost you a large portion of your day unless you're located conveniently near somewhere it doesn't matter if you miss and also you can change clothes.

so a few weeks ago i decided to do a diagnostic kind of test run, working barefooted in my bathtub.

i had a disturbing amount of leakage.

the matter of aim is kind of critical for women, because there's no obvious spigoty thing to  point away from the body, and it's frighteningly easy to get a split stream, one of which just runs right down your leg.

and that's no good.

so i've made it a bit of a discipline to practice every day in the shower, sans pants, until i can start and stop the stream without any running down my leg and then i'll try again with pants.

the reason why is that i am TIRED of being places where a quick stand-up pee would be easy, but i can't quite find a place to squat, plus it is a PROJECT to have to drop flaps to squat on a january morning at twenty below.

less exposure of my big naked butt is a thing i look forward to.

plus it's badass.


Pixie Blue said...

There are tools to make standing to pee easier and much less likely to cause unfortunate leakage onto clothes. A lot of them designed for women rather than trans guys, actually. Here for example:

There are realistic ones, of course, which is sort of the point for many guys. But they do not seem to work nearly as well as the ones designed for real women.

Being that I need to start using men's public restrooms, I should be working on this myself if only for safety reasons. But it is really frustrating.

Zhoen said...

Some female anatomy simply won't allow it, wrong angle, too much redundant tissue. I have not tried the Urifemme female urination funnel, but it's the one I've heard is the best.

Karen Knox said...

I can do this! I've been doing it for about 5 years. I only use this superpower in the dreaded portapotty though but I practice every morning in the shower. My biggest piece of advice is to stop the stream before your bladder is completely empty. Use those kegels for something! When you stop before you are empty, there is no drippage at all. Promise! The rest is just a matter of "lifting and separating" and a little practice. You can do it flask!


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