hey, lady!

hey, lady! yes, you. the lady in the blue SUV who pulled into the trumansburg library parking lot at ten o'clock sunday morning to return books.

i made a snap judgement about you and your moral character.

i assumed you were thinking about stealing my computer until you noticed that you were not alone in the parking lot.

this is not going to be one of those heartwarming stories about the pitfalls of jumping to conclusions. i'm going to stand by my assumption that you are a moral reprobate and here's why: when you got out of your big SUV you had a library book in your left had and a candy bar wrapper in your right hand.

i watched you drop the candy bar wrapper on the ground. you did not do this accidentally. you casually let it slip in the practiced fashion of entitled litterers.

can you explain to me why you could not have kept that in your pocket until you got to the next trashcan?

if i had been closer and not looking for my hat in the back seat of my car i would have just handed it back to you.

but then i noticed something.

you had not just gone to the book return box. you went over to my computer and you shut the lid. and because you are a litterer, i assume you would have stolen it if you thought you could.

and while we're at it, i was sitting here on the patio writing this and a woman came and parked in the handicapped spot. i am not sure why she did this other than she is lazy and feels entitled. apparently it is a moral handicap.