Thursday, December 19, 2013

detective stories

i have decided to get rich by inventing the newest freshest next new hit detective show.

but it has to be fresh and have a new twist so it will be interesting. it won't be good enough to have interesting stories and good writing. there has to be some fresh new twist.

so i'm going to pitch a show in which the police aren't regular police, but special police- a military unit, maybe. no, a special task force. maybe profilers or something. no, that's no good. we better have a cop show where there are people solving crimes who are not cops, but for some reason are allowed to tag along to crime scenes and solve crimes.

yeah, that's the ticket. maybe some scientists. no, how about a mathematician? no, wait. a psychic. no, a fake psychic.

no, i have something better: a mystery writer!

no, wait. a dog.

no. a group of  children.

some lawyers? a convicted felon? a machine? someone with crippling disabilities?

wait. i have it. a postal worker, because postmen know everything. it will be a small matter to funnel every plot through a post office.

and just to make sure it's interesting, all of the characters will turn out to be involved in some huge and byzantine conspiracy that can never be solved because the coverup goes all the way to the top of the food chain and the very powerful people who want it silenced will stop at nothing to keep our heroes quiet except for they just won't kill them or can't kill them because reasons.


i am totally gonna be a television writer.

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