last week i had two insomniac nights.
i do not often talk in this blog about chronic illness because this blog is about things that interest me and chronic illness is neither edible nor entertaining and is therefore of little interest to me although it figures prominently in my life.
but a couple of nights of insomnia will scare the pants right off of me, because i have learned that if i get lots of sleep and fresh air and exercise and good food and have projects to do i live almost normal and i hardly can remember being very sick and then if i have too many nights without sleep it gets deadly dangerous.
your body needs those hours of sleep to heal itself. there's a lot it can do while you're awake but there are actual mechanisms of healing and cleaning that take place on a cellular level only when you're asleep.
i live close enough to the edge that i pretty much NEED all my sleep just to keep me going. it is the physiological equivalent, i guess, of living paycheck to paycheck.
one insomniac night makes me feel unwell for days and puts me at risk.
two insomniac nights and things start to break down. i can't regulate body temperature, my digestion goes wonky, i lose some muscle control, things that hurt hurt a LOT, and the crazy comes and sits on my shoulder.
happily, i have been around the block enough times to know that it's time to change the sheets and do all the little things that will lull me into a night of lovely dreamless sleep even if it means putting everything else on hold.
i have done this enough times to know that when this happens i should not make any life-changing decisions, nor should i take on any stresses, and that may very well include the stress of leaving the house or getting off the sofa.
whatever it is, it can wait.
and then i get a good night's sleep and i feel almost normal again.
two nights sleep and i'm ready to do laundry and roast cauliflower and go snowshoeing.
it's a delicate dance.